Love to Lose, or Hate to Win?

Have you ever asked your team members whether they "Love to Lose or Hate to Win"? It might be worth reflecting on this question. Ideally, no one would embrace either option. However, research indicates that a significant number of individuals may actually fear winning. Strangely, some people deny themselves the joy of success due to the weight of expectations and pressure that comes with it. They worry about disappointing others or facing judgment after any future failure, leading them to prefer not winning at all. As a leader, how can you effectively address this mindset? While many might suggest simply being supportive, the solution requires a deeper approach. It’s essential to balance support with coaching, training, and fostering a sense of realism alongside enthusiasm and motivation. It's important to recognize that setbacks are a part of the process. Just like a great Major League Baseball player who maintains a batting average of .300—where they fail 7 out of 10 times—the focus should be on celebrating progress and understanding that failures do not define success. You may have heard the opinion that being realistic is just a path to mediocrity. That's not my opinion. A mindset that does not focus on growth, leads to mediocrity. Realism, when properly applied, leads to stronger decisions. When someone reaches what leadership would call a "stretch goal", they surpass what others would have perceived to be realistic. But the stretch goal was realistic for them, just harder to achieve, and they did not squander in mediocrity. Coaches, teammates, and fans often celebrate those exceptional hits much more than they dwell on the misses. Striving to be the best doesn’t mean achieving perfection; that’s an unrealistic expectation. Instead, embracing a realistic approach allows us to set appropriate expectations while still fostering ambition and drive. By acknowledging that losing is part of the winning journey, we can cultivate a healthier perspective that encourages resilience and continuous growth.